Yesterday, G left on his surprise post-birthday trip to Utah. I have to say I was so excited it all came together for this well-deserved, long overdue adventure. After Christmas I contacted a handful of his best buddies from high school to see if they'd be willing to meet up in Park City for a ski weekend to celebrate G's birthday. These are lifelong friends who really get each other, great guys all. Happily, they were all game (and, in fact, enthusiastic) so yesterday Chris flew in from Oregon, Sugata from California, Chuck from Arizona, G from here and they met four more friends who already live there: Mark, Nate, Justin, and Kelly. Watch out, Park City.
Once he got a seat on the plane, he called to tell me goodbye and thank you, that he made his plane, and that he accidentally took my credit card with him. We were chatting away when in the background I heard a woman say (obviously to G), very clearly, "hi! do you mind if I sit in your lap?" + playful laughter.
Now, maybe there are some situations in travel I'm not aware of where sitting in a strange man's lap (or offering to) would be advisable. I can't really think of any right now. Or, let's give her the benefit of the doubt...maybe G was accidentally sitting in her seat. But, still. It rankled.
I piped up on my end of the line "um, I DO!"
He relayed, "my wife says to tell you she minds." We all laughed. Hahahahaha. (Grrrr.)
. . .
It really was funny. Except not really.
It's been a tough year for the marriage model, fidelity wise. It feels like every month there's a new scandal about someone (Say it ain't so, Dave! and Tiger. and various governors. and presidential candidates. and friends' husbands. Say...it...ain't...so.)
I hate that this betrayal happens...especially when it's to people I love.
I hate that with every new story another whisper of a fear enters my marriage heart, despite my trust in G. I really do trust his love and goodness. Even saying that, the whisper pipes up "that's what all those wives said, too."
And you know what else? I hate that women feel free to flirt with other people's husbands. We should be better to each other than that.
. . .
Because marriage is a leap of faith. And fidelity (the Latin fides, meaning trust, belief, faith) is the privilege and price of that unique, wholehearted relationship that marriage offers.
Because this is what should be happening more often, not less:
My grandfather was born and raised on our New Zealand farm. He and my grandmother were married nearly 60 years. Preparing for a photo in the barley, my grandmother lovingly reached up to adjust his hat. This was his last harvest.
Gemma Collier, National Geographic Photo of the Day, 11.04.09
